Manhattan Minimialist Challenge

A Ghetto Gourmet Challenge.

I am bringing approximately 20-ish pounds of my condensed pantry, including dried beans, flours, noodles, rices, spices, and random mixes and broth powders. This feels like preparing to move to the frontier. I have a feeling the first thing I'm going to burn through is the mashed potato flakes and sushi rice. I have learned two things in the past two days: 1) drinking whiskey on an empty stomach is like pouring hydrochloric acid into a balloon- it will eat the living shit out of your lining and make digesting anything impossible; 2) rejecting all previous dietary/allergen concerns in a half crazed/starved/withering/"I don't give a f*ck I'll eat what I want" rage will only further agitate previously stated digestive issues. Woe.

Now here is the part where I would like to get all hippie freegan and say "aw shucks man, I'll eat whatever I can get as long as its not wasting", but the truth is I have, and always have had, a champagne taste on a beer budget (the bottle of Prosecco in my little fridge can attest to this), and add this on top of food allergies (whether or not you believe in them, I think I'll punch the next person to tell me to "just get over it and suck it up") it leaves a limited arena of things that don't make my insides feel like they're rotting out. HOWEVER- glory be, most things that are pantry friendly just happen to be egg, dairy, and gluten free! Summer is also coming soon, and I hope to scout out some farmer's markets to score some boutique lettuces and weird berries. So other than when I need fine-dining-therapy, the challenge will be to see how far I can stretch my dry stores. If you've bothered to read any previous blatherings, you will have seen how handy these supplies are to have on hand for instances like: when you ain't got no damn job.

Time to test the Ghetto Gourmet skill set and see how well I can feed not only myself, but my Ent-like boyfriend who probably requires three times my own caloric needs.

That said, I welcome any suggestions, recipes, stories, or if you happen to be in the area and hungry too (i.e. I feed you, you do acupuncture on my back/give me a puppy/give me dollars). Thanks for reading...




Also, don't worry. I'm not going all Julie and Julia apeshit and going to try to cook my way through Mastering the Art of French Cuisine, bitch ain't got Coq Au Vin kind of money yo.